Welcome to adulthood

July 2013-In shock, it's been over a year y'all 

To all my graduates, I congratulate you or as they said at my graduation ceremony, graduands! (I still don’t understand that word till date.)

How does it feel having graduated, bland, great, confusing or overwhelming? I remember when I first graduated, I felt very disappointed. I don’t know why, but I was expecting a big welcoming party to wish me a happy graduation. Oh my days, how can I forget? I remember what happened on graduation day. I previously lost my iphone (RIP Iphone 4) to the toilet that week, so I had no phone. Like, no insta post, no facebook sermon, nada. Just one mash up blackberry that needed a second touch, so I felt like the only people that cared were the 6/7 family members and friends (who funnily were all male) that turned up to my ceremony.

Anyways let’s move on. In all honesty, I was not ready for the shock of ‘adulthood’ as I fondly call it. During uni, everybody struggled with maintaining money but in the back of our minds, we always had peace as we knew Student Loan was going to ‘drop’ anytime soon (you’ll only understand if you went to uni in the UK lol). Dear graduate, there is no student loan that will drop again and if you didn’t save you’re going to be struggling until you get a job. Hmm a job (check this post where I talk about finding a job).

There’s also the issue of moving back home, if you haven’t already. You see I’m from a Nigerian home and that is a book on its own. In uni, I had the liberty to move as I pleased but when I returned home, I had a clash with my parents. On my side, I forgot the protocols instilled by my parents which we had to adhere to and on their side, they forgot that I experienced freedom and was a growing adult. It wasn’t easy adjusting. After two weeks with my mum, I was looking for another course to do so I could leave lol. It’s not like I wanted to leave but I was tired of food finishing everyday and having to wash the bathroom that 5 people had used over a week.

I could ramble on and on but I’m writing this post for a reason. I’ve experienced some things and I’d like to share a snippet of the things I learnt in the early stages of being a graduate.

I think I have one major point that could be broken down into many paragraphs and that is: Don’t be in a rush to move on.

After speaking to my friends who just finished from university, the response I got from them is that they’re looking for a job. If you’re like them, frantically looking for a job, slow down. In my opinion, I believe you should do other things instead. For example, evaluate the exact career choices you have available to you and plan accordingly. What might have been your ideal career at the beginning of your course, may not necessarily appeal to you now and you need to be able to identify what it is you want to do before you get it wrong. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, what matters is that you get there!

Another option is to go away on holiday. This may sound very silly to you but not everyone who has been to uni, even considered the idea of a break. Some just work, work and work some more. Now, even if it doesn’t appear to be studying, you’re still working if you’re continuously planning events, having socials or attending to voluntary commitments such as service in the church. So technically, you haven’t had a break have ya? So please, go on holiday with a friend. With a budget of 400, you can easily find a 7 day all inclusive to most places in Europe.

Similar to my previous point is considering doing a mission trip for an extended period. First, you get to see another country, another section of the world at large and you’re able to see yourself at work in more likely than not, adverse conditions to what you’re used to. This is good for those people that have never been away from home apart from uni. Check this website for more info (ICS).

Plan your finances. Ok, you’ve sorted out your career, found out potential starting salary and have probably started applying for jobs. My advice is work out a budget. Savings is a priority and should be set at almost 50% depending on whether your salary can afford it but nothing less than 20%. I PLEAD with you, pay off your overdraft ASAP. I don’t even have to assume this. I’m aware, a lot of us were reckless with money during university and have now landed with overdraft. For some banks, your overdraft is interest free for one year after graduation on certain amounts. Find out what your bank policy is and let’s get rid of the debt we can afford to get rid of. Also, depending on your life goals, check your credit. However, before you do that get advice from someone in the financial industry. I checked mine and I’m on track baybe! Lol

Find or develop your natural abilities. Some of my friends critically assessed themselves and instead of working for others, they are working and building their own businesses. They realized that they had a gift, skill or talent that they could develop and overtime they have managed to do that. It may have taken them a few steps but they’re where they desire to be now.

My final point, talk to people. You’re not in this journey alone. Take the courage to ask for advice or even give advice if you, like me, graduated last year. 

These are my main points but one thing I’d like to say is that I wish I’d been more patient in getting a job or rather used my time more wisely when I didn’t have a job. I sincerely do not regret getting a job but I didn’t do some of the things I mentioned above and looking back I wish I did. Having a job is a great thing, puts your life in order to an extent and helps you to mature as an individual on different scopes. However, critically and prayerfully assess whether the road of a job is for you and whether it’s for now. Forget the money aspect. In all honesty, money has wings and it may take you a couple of months before you even ‘enjoy’ your salary.

So, my dear graduate, keep focused and take your time.

P.S If you have any advice that you think would be valuable please drop a comment or send me an email at rubologs@gmail.com.  

The thief of joy

Source: www.wordpress.com
Comparison is the thief of joy-Theodore Roosevelt

Sometimes we compare ourselves so much to other people that we forget the great things that God has bestowed on us which in turn halts us from doing the things He wants us to. This happened to me for 2 months.

It's an internal battle. A battle that occurs in the mind, translates to speech and eventually becomes your character. I find it quite ironic that during this time, I read the 'The battlefield of the mind' by Joyce Meyer. I think reading this book helped me to restructure my thought pattern to a great extent and has helped me to even identify the way in which the enemy primarily works against our minds. I certainly recommend it. However, you can read all the books you want to and gain as much information as possible but nothing will change until you do internally.

I'll confess that, I didn't realise I was in this phase until I stopped certain things that God specifically put in my hands to do. For example, this very blog. I know it's a work in progress but I so compared myself to others that I eventually convinced myself that I couldn't do anything with it or that it wouldn't go far. May I mention that this however, did not stop the flow of ideas regarding my blog posts. I thought about it everyday!

As I mentioned before, my character was affected. I reduced my calls, texts and general posts that made me, me. I became inferior to people that genuinely loved me and I was downright negative about everything. The funny thing is no one particularly noticed this because as I said, it was an internal thing and I hid it quite well.

Eventually I became quite unhappy and demotivated to do anything and if I'm honest with you, I cannot recall how I got to this stage. I'm only grateful that I'm progressively coming out of this! One way I'm recovering so to speak, is by reminding myself of who I am in Christ and remembering the love He has for me that He displayed on the cross. It's easy to forget so that's why God told Joshua ''This book of the law must not depart from your  mouth but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. Then you shall make your way prosperous and then you will have good success." Joshua 1:8 (NKJV) Yes, to have good success in our minds means to be stable and positive.

Let's be clear, this isn't a blog post to declare and announce some epic return but rather an encouragement and caution against comparison.

There's a reason why you are who you are, bestowed with the gifts and talents that you have. Others may be in your field and this is for many reasons including the fact that you can't reach everyone by yourself. So "We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise." 2 Corinthians 10:12 (NIV). I compared myself with others, became foolish and look where it landed me! Avoid doing the same.

Last thought: If you compare yourself with another person, you're indirectly telling God that He didn't do a good job.

Until we meet again, be yourself!
Rubo

Keep an eye out for my next post on discouragement.