Why your mother is so controlling.

Snippets of my mother's reactions 

I noticed a trend lately. Although I've graduated from university and grown up, my mother still tries to make decisions on my behalf. It actually makes me laugh at times.

I've been pondering during the week and this has led me to the following conclusions.

Your mother is controlling because she kept you in her stomach (uterus for the the biologists) for 9-10 months. I'm privileged to talk with some of my aunties and when they describe the pain they've had to go through, it justifies the way they act at times. From morning sickness, swelling of legs and arms, sleeping discomfort, pimples, weight gain, face expansion, unruly cravings, hormonal changes and waddling as opposed to walking. The list is not exhaustive. 

Then she had contractions and went into labour, which for someone like my mum went on for 2 days when she was having me. Some endured a vaginal rip, had a c-section or others chose to have a natural birth. My aunties tell me it's a pain you can't describe! Let me conclude, the pain is intense. She breastfed you and for those who are unaware, it hurts!

You decided to grow and change clothes like you owned Selfridges. You cried, like you lived by yourself, you pooped like you were an ice cream machine and you urinated like you were a tap. She woke you up everyday to get ready for school. Took you to ballet class, football or whatever other extra curricular activity you went for. She took you to the barbers and had to listen to men talk about why Arsenal stopped winning trophies or the decline in Man U's performance (sorry I just had to). If you're a girl, let's not talk about the bargains she had to make with the hairdressers almost every six weeks because it was expensive to do your hair.

Then you went to secondary school and started misbehaving and she had to come into school, sit with teachers and hear them complain about their child's behaviour. Don't forget how you moaned, cried and groaned about GCSE'S and A-level's and how she prayed that you'd get into your desired choice of university. 

You left for university and she pretended that she didn't miss you but she called every other day to make sure that you're all right. She still bought you clothes at your age, taught you how to cook and clean and gave you money to settle you.

Some of you took it a step further and decided to get married and on your wedding day she shed a tear as she realised you were no longer going to live with her.

Whilst this may not speak for everyone, there is something that relates to every individual. Your mum is controlling because she actually earned it. Do I think they need to simmer it down a bit? Yes I do but like my mum always says "Wait till you get there!"

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers and potential mothers! 

Rubologs 

What's in your heart?

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9)
(Source: www.netdoctor.co.uk)

The physical heart is no more than the size of a fist, yet it is a powerful and complex muscle that constantly supplies the whole body with the most essential bodily fluid along side nutrients and oxygen. The heart also functions to remove toxic substances from the body, such as carbon dioxide, in order for the body to remain in a healthy condition. Whilst the heart functions almost autonomously, lifestyle impacts can alter its function and in worse case scenarios, totally stop it. As briefly summarised, the heart is necessary for survival.

The spiritual heart can be likened unto the physical heart as it controls our being. What's in our heart ultimately determines our thoughts, actions, habits and our character. This is why Proverbs 4:23 says 'Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.' 

Another scripture that deals with the content of the heart is Matthew 5, '27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.'

I like this scripture as it talks of the content of the heart (lust), the actions caused by its content (adultery) and how to deal with it (getting rid of lust totally and completely by changing lifestyle habits, e.g, the things you see and hear). 

Intrigued by someone's behaviour? Ask them of their experiences and you'll see the content of their heart.


I feel a lot of times people judge each other by their actions and whilst this can be an indicator of the condition of the heart, it must not be confused with their actual intent. I remember recently having an experience with God. During the week, I hadn't spent much time with Him in word, prayer or song. Having arrived at choir rehearsals, it was time to worship. Just as I was going to open up my mouth and sing something happened, God asked me 'What's in your heart?' I stopped to look at who was talking but obviously I knew who. I was in shock. Truly what was in my heart to give to Him? 
This scripture came to mind, 'But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. ( 1 Samuel 16:7b NIV). 

God is looking at the content of my heart because that's my control centre as stated previously. In the Old Testament, the Israelites were instructed to present offerings without spot, wrinkle or blemish. This is illustrated in Leviticus 22,  '17 The Lord said to Moses, 18 “Speak to Aaron and his sons and to all the Israelites and say to them: ‘If any of you—whether an Israelite or a foreigner residing in Israel—presents a gift for a burnt offering to the Lord, either to fulfill a vow or as a freewill offering, 19 you must present a male without defect from the cattle, sheep or goats in order that it may be accepted on your behalf. 20 Do not bring anything with a defect, because it will not be accepted on your behalf.'
If my heart isn't right, how can I offer it unto Him? That's a blemish in itself.

I believe the heart is sensitive, due to this, we need to guard our heart so that it can continue to function as its supposed to.

It's good to talk about the heart but it's an extensive topic, truly who can fully grasp it? (Jeremiah 17:9 NIV)

Rubologs 

Lessons learnt in February

Source: www.my.englishclub.com

You may or may not know but I take stock of everything I learn in each month. It's something new I started this year and so far it's helped me to mature and become aware of growth or in some cases the lack of growth.

I base this task on this scripture from Proverbs 9:9 which says,  'Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more.' 

I want to be a person who learns from their mistakes and from that is able to help others not make that mistake. Therefore, I must first of all identify and address mistakes or habits in my life that need to be removed and put structures in place that will help me not to make them again. 

May I just say however, some of the things I learn are actually positive things about myself or people around me that I never took notice of before and it really helps. 

Here it goes, my list of things that I learnt this February

1. Life gives you what you give it. If you're lazy, you'll reap poverty. If you're hard working you'll attain success. It's as simple as that.

2. I value and cherish my family more than I thought I did. They mean a lot to me and without their constant support, I genuinely don't know where I'd be.

3. I can easily lose myself, if I don't focus and keep the end goal in mind. I mean this in relation to my Christian walk with God but also other aspects of my life. For example, sometimes I lose sight of the fact that one day I want to inspire other young people so I may act or do things that are contrary to that. However, having such an image in mind helps me to refocus and keep my actions in line. 

4. I care about people a lot and sometimes I put them before myself which leads to lack of care to myself. Yeah soo if I say no sometimes, I do apologise but I need to take care of myself. Thanks!

5. Good things come to those who wait. This point may cause some controversy but after some careful bible study, I've seen those who wait on, depend on, trust in God for no matter how long usually end up with the best deal. You may have some reservations about this but Gods time is ALWAYS best.

6. God actually loves me and I will be able to accomplish those things that I desire to. I realised this after having a conversation with my mentors about marriage. From the beginning to almost the end of the conversation, I was in tears, not because of what they were saying per se but because it was proof that I was actually on God's mind. Yeah that totally blew me away, call me soft if you wish lol.

7. I'm shy, very shy. I recently attended a friends bible study at her church and can I just say that I almost fainted at the idea of being alone without her for a split second *coversface*. I never knew it was that bad. However, I'm working on it as I've signed up to go to a networking event exclusively for ladies so I can build on that area of my life. 

8. Last but not least. Laziness is deadly. My goodness, this is something I will kill! You don't become successful by chance, I must rid myself of this!

So, here's my list. I'm already making amendments as I type because it is necessary and essential. I'm definitely learning a lot about myself and so should you.

If you want to know how to do this too, spend a certain part of your day thinking about the events that occurred that day and simply jot it down. I currently put all these thoughts on my phone and then transfer them to my blog for y'all to see and also learn from. 

What are the things you learned in February? share it with me by commenting below!

Rubologs