South Africa...my new home

Hi everyone!

I will not even begin to explain where I fully disappeared to but I will say I have been busy having fun and discovering myself. It has been a journey full of ups and downs but I am so grateful that I have gone through it-heck, I am still going through it!

So I recently went to South Africa to volunteer for approximately three months focusing on developing health and hygiene within a township in Grahamstown.

Lovely experience? Where do I even begin? From the lovely community and the mama's, to my host family, amazing counterpart and diverse team of people I was working with.

It was an experience that I can never forget and I will be sharing more of it in due time.
For now I am going to share a few things that I learnt in true Rubologs tradition:

1. Everyone deserves the chance to smile
I don't actually know how to explain this point lol but let it marinate in your mind...

2. Patience is a virtue
It is hard working in a large group of people with different characters and personalities and this was a major challenge that we faced during our placement. However, being open to accept people for who they are and what they stand by truly helped me to work with rather than against them. It is good to work with people you have a lot of similarities with but at times it limits your personal growth.

3. As faces differ, so do their needs 
It was not always obvious until you got close to someone to hear their life journey and their aspirations. I now know not to always judge a book by its cover but to sometimes get closer to people. 

4. Access to practice good health and hygiene should not be taken for granted
In the community I was working in, health and hygiene was an issue we were dealing with. We did this in various ways through community workshops, events and lessons in schools. Whilst the knowledge was being passed on, it could not always be applied. How do you maintain personal hygiene, if the water supply was turned off for three days? 

5. South Africa has winter
No but they actually do. I was soo ignorant of the fact that just because I'm in a tropical country, it automatically means bikini! Wrong. It was freezing and I had a cold. 

I have learnt a lot during my time away and will cherish these moments and the people I met forever.

For now I will  leave you with a few snaps...see you soon! 

Plenty of love

Rubo xx

First day in SA

At the National Art Festival

National Arts Festival

Snippet of a township

View from my home

View of town centre  

Me being me

My working group-aka the best 

My counterpart who became my sister xx

Anger affects your fruit

Source: www.notable-quotes.com
Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires (James 1:20 NLT)

Ever been angry? Rained a few choice words at a loved one? Felt like you could have pulled someone's brains out? Read on...

There are two scriptures I've been pondering on for a few weeks, if not months, at the back of mind that relates to anger.

Ephesians 4:25-27 (NIV)
 “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."
James 1:20 (NLT)
"Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires."

See when I first read these scriptures, I actually became more aware of the importance of remaining calm in situations that warrant anger.  However, my awareness was blinded by the reasoning that this wasn't right 'because the bible said so'. Recently I read these scriptures again when sharing it with one of my mentees and then it became clearer to me.

"Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires." James 1:20 (NLT)


Lately, I've been angry. To an extent, I'm not too sure I know why I've been angry but I've come to realise that this has to do with the fact that I keep running away from God and the responsibilities He's placed in my hands. (Read my post on running away) Simply not doing as He's asked or responding to His calls can change your emotions FOR Him, AGAINST Him. Yeah, it's funny right, I did not believe it till I experienced it,hence it affected me gravely. After close examination, I caught a glimpse of what the scripture was referring to in terms of righteousness and not being able to be the Christian I'm daily growing to be. 

Anger blocks the fruits of the spirit being used. In other words, it inhibits you being patient with a person who seems to be unaware of the discomfort their actions bring you. It doesn't allow you to view that person in love or be gentle with them. It completely blocks you from using kind words towards them if and when correcting them. It disables you from living in peace with all men. It robs you of your internal joy. It discourages you from being faithful to your prayers for them (for example in the event that this is your spouse, friend or even child). Anger encourages a lack of self control and it's in these circumstances that you find people uttering words they never would have in the first place and in summary it produces no good.

There is a way that God requires us to behave as listed in Galatians 5:22 and anger is one of the things that blocks us from acting in such a manner. 

I'm not sure who I wrote this post for but I know that at one point or the other, we may have been angry and displayed characteristics that we otherwise wouldn't have. I implore you to forgive yourself but take conscious steps to avoid such a state (whatever that means for you) next time.

Let's not allow anger to block our fruit and ruin our testimonies as Christians

Rubo 

Where are you running to?

Still running? 
Source:www.alignfiles.com

So last week I posted on my Facebook that we should stop running away and go back to God as He's waiting to hear from us. He wants us to continually dine with Him. How humbling is that? Therefore I embraced Him and encouraged others to do the same thing.

A trial appeared and all of a sudden I found myself running away again. I heard His calls but decided to ignore, I felt His nudges but decided to move away and ultimately I was back at square one-confused. My prior convictions, visions and decisions were clouded. Discouragement set in and I was running on auto pilot.

I'm currently undergoing something called 'the wait'. A period of time Christians frequently find themselves in according to scriptures such as Psalm 40:1-3 and Isaiah 40:31, for example. 

The wait can be described as a period of silence. A moment where things appear not to be working, prayers unanswered and worship apparently blocked. Funnily enough, this is a time where deep intimacy has the potential to be built. It's in such a time you cannot depend on your feelings to know God is near as your feelings will ultimately fail you. It's a time where you evidently build your inner man. You pray till you can't pray no more, you worship till you can't find a song ('ultimately' make your own), you sacrifice till there's nothing left and you study until you close your eyes and can only see scripture. In other words you keep pressing on and keep chasing after Him. Yes Him. Not the answers to your prayers but Him.

As mentioned before, God kept calling me to talk to him, to simply pour my emotions before Him, but I declined. I think I know now that I didn't know what to say. It's situations like these that I value the scripture Romans 8:26 (NLT):

"And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don't know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words."


I've read this scripture a few times but to be honest, I'm grasping the concept of this verse more and more. The Holy Spirit is aware of our weaknesses and shortcomings. Instead of judgement, He's readily available to help us. A common example described in the verse in relation to prayer accompanied with the solution. So why on earth are we running away if He's actually willing to help with even the most basic things? 


Sometimes God only wants us to come. Imagine when you've had a bad day and your mother or spouse cuddles you up on the sofa with hot chocolate and holds you in the silence whilst you cry and fall asleep. It's such a comforting experience and I realise now, that's all he wanted to do.

Listen, waiting can be exhausting if you're doing it just to find an answer. So instead, wait on Him. Let Him renew your strength. Let Him revive your relationship.

But more importantly, stop running away and talk to Him.
I'll leave you with this scripture from Matthew 11:28 (NLT):

"Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."

Much love, peace and prayers 

Rubo 

Why should I feel discouraged?

Source: www.lovethispic.com

Ever felt discouraged, without hope and no sense of direction? Welcome to the club.

Psalm 42 says 'Why, I ask myself, are you so depressed? Why are you so upset inside? Hope in God! Because I will again give him thanks, my saving presence and my God.' (‭Psalms‬ ‭42‬:‭5‬ CEB)

There are several reasons why as Christians we may feel discouraged. We may have lost a loved one, scored badly on an important exam or made a bad decision resulting in loss. Let me be real with you, even watching the news these days can be quite discouraging. Whatever the case, we can identify with the feeling. David did too and he certainly didn't hide this emotion but like Job, openly expressed his feelings before God.

In verse three of psalms 42, David mentioned he had been crying for days on end to the extent that he had no energy left as he refrained from eating. He was even being tormented with thoughts of what people had previously said in that they questioned the reality of his beliefs.

Source: www.wordpress.com

Does this sound familiar?

Life gives you the option of being depressed, upset and at times bitter. But let's examine what David said in the latter part of verse 5. He said 'Hope in God! Because I will again give him thanks, my saving presence and my God.'

Why did he say this? I believe it's because he had an assurance based on his past experiences in his relationship with God. He knew that he'd come out of this situation because God was with him. That's what brought him out of the situation.

With this in mind, I thought of things that I do that help me when I'm discouraged.

1. I'll be honest with God about my feelings

2. I'll calm down and not let emotions rule my thoughts

3. I make my feelings accountable to another person

4. I'll be silent to hear from God as I believe he's heard me

5. I'll be vigilant to understand what He's trying to teach me.

6.  Ultimately, I'll keep moving forward as there's no benefit to my progress if I remain stagnant.

Last thoughts: What we must always strive to maintain is our relationship and enhance the knowledge we have with Him, through the word of God. Then when discouragement surfaces we'll be able to deal with it.

Today I'm reminding you and myself that if His eyes is on the sparrow, then He's surely watching over us.

Rubologs

I don't think, I lust

Faded love
source: www.flicker.com

The thing I hate most about lust is the fact that it's so subtle. Let me be honest, I didn't even know I was lusting and till date I can't even recall when it started.

I don't necessarily want to go into this subject as I'm convinced that the majority of people reading this are aware of it and have probably encountered (for lack of better word) it.

My post is for those who have struggled and I mean struggled with it for the past months or even years and are at their wits end and need help. I know that position. I know what it did to me physically and spiritually; it's not an easy battle to engage in.

For the majority of us, it starts with an image, a thought of a person or even a familiar scent for those with a more 
sensual outlook. Yes, this is how subtle it can be as I mentioned before.

Firstly, let me address that the enemy is aware of the state of your mind and has decided to use this as a main weapon of warfare against you.
Let's look at a few scriptures before I go on to explain tools that I've used which has helped me through the years.
Matthew 5:27-30 (NLT)
27“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ 28But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29So if your eye—even your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your bodythan for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your hand—even your stronger hand—causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

The first part of this verse addresses lust and what it actually is-adultery. Then the second part addresses how to combat it and with what intensity. For you to physically pluck your eye out would leave you blind and in excruciating pain. However, looking at it metaphorically it means that you've disabled the equipment that would otherwise land you in trouble.
In essence, this verse helped me to understand how God viewed lust and how He wanted me to deal with it.

Hebrews 4:16 (NLT)

This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

This verse has been a great comfort to say the least. At times I'd feel episodes of  sheer guilt, shame and rejection. Upon reading this, I'd understand that I was in a relationship with someone who understood EXACTLY what I was encountering but was able to withstand it meaning that through my constant relationship with Him, I too could overcome.

1 John 5:4 (NLT)

For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith
I smile whenever I think of this scripture because I learnt it by listening to a sermon in church but didn't know how important a scripture it would become to me.
Simply stated; because He overcame, I can overcome.

1 Corinthians 10:3-4 (NLT)

We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.

Yeah welcome to Christianity also known as spiritual warfare. This verse practically tells you what Matthew 5 gruesomely explained. Throw the thoughts into the bottomless pit of hell. That's where they belong, not your mind!!

Psalms 19:4 (NLT)

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O  
lord, my rock and my redeemer.
Again another scripture that helped me to cast down thoughts by simply replacing it with the word of God.

James 4:7 (NLT)
So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
I remembering reading this entire passage of scripture realising that I had read it only to understand one point. I must be under the umbrella (protection) of God before I can even face the devil, unless I'll just be flicked away like a piece of dust.

These scriptures are not extensive but this is what I used in overcoming this demon called lust.

Now, I'd like to give a few tactical points in overcoming this.
1. Prayer
What I mean in this point is that you should be honest with God. Explain to Him that you have this weakness and need His help. He already understands and He's already holding your hands, however He just needs you to keep the grip and never let go.
However, be aware that this is a spiritual battle and needs to be fought brutally, so don't be comfortable or familiar with your prayer in regards to this. Address the enemy and let him know that you're not giving up!

2. Memorising the word and using it as a weapon
This is the biggest weapon you have to use in prayer. First of all read the word on this subject area of the mind and use it. Memorise it till it becomes a part of you. Then when the moment arises you're equipped.

The three times Jesus was tempted by the devil, He used the word in order to overcome the temptation and over power the attempts of the enemy. It works! I know it does.


3. Confession/accountability
I can't stress this point enough. Let me be honest, the average evangelical/Pentecostal Christian doesn't want to be open with their fellow Christian brothers and sisters and the enemy is using this to divide the church.

The word of God instructs us to confess our sins one to another. There's a reason why; two heads are better than one, physically,mentally and spiritually. Share with your Christian friend. I know some feel that they may be judged but I've found great peace in this. If you're not sure of who to talk to, pray first and let God lead you. I'm telling you it has helped. Don't expect too much, because they're not God and cannot fully solve this issue. In summary, this friend of yours can help you to pray continually and encourage you even when you don't feel like doing the right thing. There's great progress when you have the support of someone. Galatians 6:2 (NLT) says "Share each other's burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ."

4. Identify the conditions surrounding you that make you more vulnerable
Are you more susceptible to lust in the morning because you've just woken up, are weak and not been able to gather your thoughts?
Is it when you're idle and not occupied?
Identify it and when you have, use it to your advantage.

5. Watch what you watch
In other words, guard your heart.  If you already know that watching a particular film or reading something will later result in episodes of lust then there's no point. Avoid it.

Let me close by saying that the state of your mind is important to God! That's the avenue He uses to talk with you so the enemy will do anything to block it.

Let's begin to think and not lust!

The month of May

I posted on Facebook a few days ago that the month of May was an emotional and spiritual roller coaster. I was literally left with two options. I remembered the scripture of 'life and death' but it came to me in a different way. I could've chosen to be bitter towards God and the people involved or chosen to view this as a learning curve and hold on to God even more.

So this month I realised that communication within a family is vital. Without it, misconceptions will arise, assumptions will be made and confusion will take place. In fact, I understood this point so much this month that I was given insight to the damage it could do if it was missing. I also began to understand why married couples always pin pointed that communication was or shall I say is important to a marriage. Please don't take it lightly. If you notice a gap in communication with your loved ones, build a bridge.

Treat others the way you would like to be treated. The problem is we know these things but we choose not to apply them.

How you make your bed, is how you will lie in it. Excuse my proverbial language, however it's something that was reiterated this month to me. Don't expect an output if there's no input.

Prayer is essential. I think I may expatiate on this point with another blog post but for now, I learnt that communication at all times with the Holy Spirit is what kept me sane or on track.

This is one point that I'm still trying to grasp. I realised that I was not happy within me when I didn't use my gift to serve at the right time. I also found out that if I didn't do something that I was meant to do which could bless someone then someone else would replace me, do that thing and do it better *insertappropriateemoticon*!!!

Before I leave, this might make you laugh but I learnt that money is good!! Lol.

See you sooner than you think whilst we discuss practical ways to deal with lust.

Rubo

Who's asking about my heart?

Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!

And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" Psalm 139:23-24 (ESV).

(Source: www.netdoctor.co.uk)

This will be a short piece but I believe it is relevant to the subject at hand-The Heart.

I recently, spoke about the heart and this topic has been ruminating within me for the past month. After pondering continuously on the content of my heart, I realised I was asking the wrong person. How will I truly know what is in the content of my heart?

Like David I asked "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" Psalm 139:23-24 (ESV).

I think one of the reasons God asked me this question and does it quite frequently is because He's ensuring that my motive is right. What's the essence of serving an individual but doing it with resentment in your heart towards the person? It's a contradicting act and will amount to nothing. Hence we shouldn't forget that He is looking at the content of your heart. 

As I was thinking of this, I stumbled across the fact that God might be constantly asking me this question in order to make me aware that He's always watching me. 

Psalm 139:7-12 (ESV) says "Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea even there your hand shall lead me and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me and the light about me be night,”even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you."

I can't hide from Him as He knows everything already, including the content of my heart.

Next time you feel a nudge regarding your heart, think motive, think presence.

Rubologs 

11 

What I didn't learn in March and stumbled across in April

Spring at its best
(Source: www.google.co.uk)

Hi everyone,

It's been a while and there a few good reasons why I have been MIA. Firstly, I GOT A JOB!!! *praisebreak*. This may not be ecstatic news to everyone but for me and fellow recent graduates this is awesome news. I will be blogging about my experience later. Secondly, my big sister got married (plus other weddings) and I was too busy being excited that I just couldn't put my thoughts down.

So, as promised every month I take stock of the lessons I learn and share them. However, last month, I didn't learn much. In fact, spiritually, March was messed up, tore up, you name it. I had serious moments where I doubted God's abilities, spouts of insecurities, lack of faith and the list goes on. This is despite the fact that I actually took time to organise my month. It reminds me of a scripture which says "Many are the plans in a persons heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21 (NIV)

I don't have a list of lessons this time around but I have a few distinct things that I remember. 

I didn't learn that if you give the devil a foothold, he will take it and turn it into a stronghold. What I mean in simple terms is, give the devil a foot and he'll take a mile. I seriously let my guard down last month. I didn't shield my heart, mind or soul and I thought I'd be okay. It doesn't work like that...at all! See, I've come to realise this, the devil comes but to 'kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10). But he doesn't come to your room to wake you up at night to punch you instead he thinks like a business man and seizes certain opportunities and uses it to his full advantage. Be alert, the Bible encourages, BE ALERT!

Holiness is a verb! God has clothed us in His righteousness but we need to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. It is something we work on daily, consciously and persistently. Holiness is not by accident.

I've also realised that success doesn't suddenly fall on your lap. You must work at it. I've had to make adjustments in my life in order to align myself with success. Might I add that, success is objective to each individual and this should be taken in to consideration when you find yourself making comparisons with your peers.

Finally, God's grace (empowerment in this sense) is readily available. In 'Christianese' we tend to say that we need to 'tap' into it. A tap is used in controlling the flow of some form of liquid. However, until you turn the tap on, nothing will come out of it. How do you turn on grace? Acknowledge that it is present and it will begin to flow. 

Personally, I've taken this on board and decided to run with it.

Until we meet again

Rubologs

What's in your heart?

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9)
(Source: www.netdoctor.co.uk)

The physical heart is no more than the size of a fist, yet it is a powerful and complex muscle that constantly supplies the whole body with the most essential bodily fluid along side nutrients and oxygen. The heart also functions to remove toxic substances from the body, such as carbon dioxide, in order for the body to remain in a healthy condition. Whilst the heart functions almost autonomously, lifestyle impacts can alter its function and in worse case scenarios, totally stop it. As briefly summarised, the heart is necessary for survival.

The spiritual heart can be likened unto the physical heart as it controls our being. What's in our heart ultimately determines our thoughts, actions, habits and our character. This is why Proverbs 4:23 says 'Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.' 

Another scripture that deals with the content of the heart is Matthew 5, '27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.'

I like this scripture as it talks of the content of the heart (lust), the actions caused by its content (adultery) and how to deal with it (getting rid of lust totally and completely by changing lifestyle habits, e.g, the things you see and hear). 

Intrigued by someone's behaviour? Ask them of their experiences and you'll see the content of their heart.


I feel a lot of times people judge each other by their actions and whilst this can be an indicator of the condition of the heart, it must not be confused with their actual intent. I remember recently having an experience with God. During the week, I hadn't spent much time with Him in word, prayer or song. Having arrived at choir rehearsals, it was time to worship. Just as I was going to open up my mouth and sing something happened, God asked me 'What's in your heart?' I stopped to look at who was talking but obviously I knew who. I was in shock. Truly what was in my heart to give to Him? 
This scripture came to mind, 'But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. ( 1 Samuel 16:7b NIV). 

God is looking at the content of my heart because that's my control centre as stated previously. In the Old Testament, the Israelites were instructed to present offerings without spot, wrinkle or blemish. This is illustrated in Leviticus 22,  '17 The Lord said to Moses, 18 “Speak to Aaron and his sons and to all the Israelites and say to them: ‘If any of you—whether an Israelite or a foreigner residing in Israel—presents a gift for a burnt offering to the Lord, either to fulfill a vow or as a freewill offering, 19 you must present a male without defect from the cattle, sheep or goats in order that it may be accepted on your behalf. 20 Do not bring anything with a defect, because it will not be accepted on your behalf.'
If my heart isn't right, how can I offer it unto Him? That's a blemish in itself.

I believe the heart is sensitive, due to this, we need to guard our heart so that it can continue to function as its supposed to.

It's good to talk about the heart but it's an extensive topic, truly who can fully grasp it? (Jeremiah 17:9 NIV)

Rubologs