There are no rules

Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given to you, just as I promised to Moses (Joshua 1:3)

As I welcome the month of February, this is what keeps ringing in my head. 

See, I am a goodie-too-shoes. I do everything by the books. I rarely step out of line and whenever I have, the consequences that follow have been weighty. So I easily stick by the rules.

Yet I can’t seem to shake this sentence from my mind-‘there are no rules.’

I am familiar with this phrase, all thanks to social media, however it rings a sharp bell for me today.

My understanding of this phrase is: to remove limits and boundaries created by society or traditional laws. Truly I understood this phrase. However, I did not grasp the effect this phrase offered me personally.

About a week ago, my friend blurted this phrase out to me mid argument. We are currently working on a personal project of mine and I wanted to change something. No actually, I was asking if the suggested change could work. He had been polite with me up until this point but I think he had enough. With his eyes wide open, hands in my face (literally), he said ‘Ruth, there are no rules.’ I was stunned to say the least.

I know. I’ve said this phrase a few times in this post already but I want to drum it into your mind because truly there are no rules.

If there is one thing I learnt last year through my journey, it was that I am in control of whatever path I pursue. It is literally up to me to take the first step and the step after that and so on.

Therefore, as we slowly, but oh so surely progress into the year, remember-there are no rules. Create your own path. 

With love

Rubo

When it is not well

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5)

I’m from a Nigerian background…. scratch that - I am Nigerian and proudly so. I am also a Christian (waits for everyone’s negative view and moves on). With this said the term ‘Nigerian Christian’ comes to mind.  

I love love love the vibrancy, passion and zeal expressed by some of my fellow Nigerian Christians. The enthusiasm displayed is contagious and encourages you to be expressive of your worship. However, there is one pet peeve I have, the ‘IT IS WELL’ phrase.
I originally heard of this phrase in the beloved hymn - It is well with my soul. This hymn for me has been a great help during difficult times. Whilst it may not have brought the solution to the problem, what it has done is provide peace and clarity for me to move forward; something one can argue is a solution in itself.

Initially, ‘It is well’ was used, in my opinion, as a means to comfort someone going through a difficult time. I think it is quite appropriate actually. However, it has been abused!!! Errbody and then some say it. In fact, it’s even used as a way to end a conversation, as if to say it is now a full stop. Like how did this happen?
It has also been used as a means to avoid answering a question. Can anyone relate? You talk with someone but instead of them talking sense or providing you with a good answer they burst out with this response.

Ok there goes my background information…please follow along.

I recently encountered some not so pleasant circumstances and these were my thoughts. I kept thinking- what happens when it is not well? That sentence doesn’t sound grammatically correct but honestly, that’s what I thought. What do I do when I cannot find the right words to say to myself or even someone else? 

What happens when ‘It is well’ does not suffice? 

At the time I had no solution, but that season passed and with it came points that could help someone else get through a difficult season:

1.     A support system
Remember how I said the ‘it is well’ phrase was coined to encourage someone through a difficult time? Well having a support system sit with you to listen and provide encouraging thoughts can be a great anecdote to the situation you find yourself in.

2.     Allow yourself to go through the motions
I strongly believe in being real with yourself. I am one for crying, needing a hug or whatever else…BUT doing this in the presence of the Lord. So have your moment but do it with God.

3.     Realising there is an end

Sometimes when we go through certain things we forget that there is an end date to it. I get it, it seems like forever but when we walk with the mentality that ‘this too shall pass’, it helps us in our attitudes to move forward.

4.     Taking it step by step
Give yourself some slack. You will not know what to do at every point, instead ask God for the next thing to do and He will direct your path.

If there’s anything I wanted to achieve with this post, it was to make you think about the power behind words…I hope that can be said of this piece.

With love,

Rubo

Not where I want to be

If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done.

Ecclesiastes 11:4 (TLB)

Hi everyone,

Welcome to my first official post of 2017! Rubologs is back and in the zone (am I allowed to say that?)

I am excited to have you with me on this journey but first I will take you back to my 25th birthday and the thoughts I had running around in my mind at the time. I will also be sharing some of the pictures from my photoshoot, I decided to have a little glam session- see it as a bonus if you will.

As I assume everyone does, your birthday comes around and you review your previous year. You take stock of what you were able to accomplish or almost accomplished, you remember your failures and of course your moments of success. Can you tell that I forget to remember the good things? Lord help me.

Anyways, I started feeling as though I had not achieved enough, which I think is a sign of being ungrateful. I felt fat because I had not lost enough weight despite having a personal trainer, I had not secured a role in my preferred career path and I was not married- L O L. To add, I stopped blogging which I dearly missed.

In essence, I just felt like I had several setbacks and I used these as an excuse not to move forward. I remember, I was at home on this fateful day when the scripture hit me. I had dropped my car off at the mechanics and as I walked back to pick it up, I took in my surroundings. I’m not quite sure what caught my attention, but something did and it’s as if I was in the ‘mind of a tree’. It’s true that trees, plants and flowers alike have their optimum conditions to do what they do but they don’t ever stop doing, even if we don’t see it on the outside. The roots are constantly networking, water is being drawn up the stem, leaves fall off when they need to, but the key thing is that they continue. 

If you wait, you will not grow

So here I am with my ideas and what do I do? I chose to wait. Wait for what exactly? Did God ask me to wait? I mean sometimes He does but I kept waiting for the perfect conditions and not taking stock of the place I had reached. I didn’t take into account the work my roots had been involved in, the nourishment from the water I had received or even the benefit of a dead leaf falling away. That is an achievement in itself and should be celebrated.

             I may not be where I think I should, but I am certainly not where I used to be.

The above statement was something I had always heard in church but maybe it was never my reality until now. This pushed me to affirm and indeed take stock with the right perspective.

I’ll tell you where I am. I am in Christ, I am loved and to be loved, I am a work in progress, I am healthy and beautiful!

So, we have found ourselves in May and I welcome you because that is enough to move forward with.

Hope this post has touched you in one way...

With love,

Rubo

Better late than never (2)- I'm tired of trusting, hoping and believing

Source: www.gopixpic.com

No honestly,  I'm over it. It's draining, or am I doing it the wrong way?

Oh I apologise for those who assumed this would be another inspirational post but I've promised myself to be more honest with you this year.

Lately, all I have received through my digital letter box, are letters starting with the phrase 'We are sorry to inform you', 'It is with regret we inform you', 'We are afraid that we cannot accept your application' and so on and so forth. It is disheartening.

In all honesty, part of the reason I am tired is that I keep going through these cycles. I am tired of seeking the direction, receiving it, taking action, praying and hoping that it will work out, only for it to fall through like water through a sieve. However, I laugh as I'm starting to realise that my theme for the year may actually be trust; in the sense of walking with God.

I think God wants me to learn and develop in the area of trusting Him. But as you can tell, I am finding this particularly difficult. There are a million questions buzzing through my head as I try and comprehend the idea of trusting, waiting and 'faithing' (for lack of better word).

I have two choices. The first is to trust God despite the fact that I have NO CLUE as to what is happening with me. The second is to be bitter and harden my heart towards God even though the situation remains that I have NO CLUE as to what is going on. Let's just say I have almost made up my mind.

Having said that, I have chosen to ponder on a few scriptures to put things into perspective
Isaiah 26:3 (ESV)
"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you."

Isaiah 40:31 (NLT)
"But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."

Isaiah 40:8 (NLT)
"The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever."


Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."


Jeremiah 33:3 (ESV)
"Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known."


Listen, (you too Ruth), this walk of faith is not easy. Whilst this may be true, we must remain convinced that God is walking with us, working for us, in and through us at every point in time especially when it does not appear to be so.

So Rubologians (haha as if), I apologise for my somewhat melancholic tone, but I chose to be open and honest with you. 

By the way, in case you've forgotten, it is well with your soul.

Stay tuned on the next post 

Rubologs 

What I learnt in 2013

2013 is over! I don't know what your verdict is of this year but listed below are a few of my favourite things that I learnt in 2013...

Be persistent
Laziness, doubt, fear and lack of will power will not get you anywhere.
Believe in yourself first and others will believe in you I had a difficult time this year dealing with people's comments which at times were very negative. I've been brought up in a way that ensures I have support at all times. I don't think it's a bad thing but when I didn't get it, it affected me. I had to build a tough exterior, I had to believe in myself because if I don't nobody else will.


People don't like you
This was probably one thing that hurt me. Some people just have nothing good to say about you yet they don't know you. This is life and you must get on with it.

Life is tough
The things that life will throw at you can shake your foundations. It's either you overcome it or you will be overthrown.

The word you know is what will help you overcome situations
I can't stress this enough. The word you've studied, meditated on, discussed is what will get you through certain circumstances.

Don't depend on people
People are people and they will fail you at one point or the other. I've always known this but I think this year I've actually come to realise it.

Experience isn't always the best
Experience is good as you gain a deeper understanding of circumstances and why things happen in general. However, sometimes it costs too much. It's better to observe and learn from what another person may have gone through. It saves a lot of time, emotions and enzymes (there are enzymes in tears, no need wasting precious stuff lol)

Gods grace is all you need
The Grace of God is empowerment and ability to briefly summarise. This year, without His grace, I surely wouldn't have gone through it.

What are your lessons that you learnt this year?

I implore you to quickly jot down a few notes, it'd make you grateful for the year in itself.

On that note, I wish you all a happy new year!
God bless
Rubo